Please, please, please .. no jokes about Miss Tammy being on ice, it’s even too obvious for me, however during a lightening trip to my true home of Melbourne, someone suggested a quick visit to the ice skating rink would be in order, obviously fueled by a winter Olympic fervour we ice bunnies descended like an over heated teste upon the place, it wasn’t until i got there i thought ‘Hmmmm, not sure I’ve skated since i was 17, and that effort, tho on a skateboard, left scars still evident to this day’, the sweater i wore on that occasion looked as if I’d been molested by Steve French the stoner panther on a bad comedown, so it was with a little trepidation that i laced up my skates, it wasn’t long however before I’d let go of the hand rail and was pretty much zooming around the rink, of course an element of cockiness crept in .. not upon me, but the young guy in front who started flapping his arms before falling at my feet, my feet with shiny silver blades on them, my feet that couldn’t divert from his fingers that had splayed on the ice to get him balance, before i knew it i heard a something that sounded like ‘Wolverine’ in X-MEN when he engages the blades from his paws/hands, the next noise was a little more human, and involved the young guy lamenting the meeting of finger and blade, luckily he had his girlfriend with him so he sort of scampered away to the first aid office, all the while I’m sure stifling a blood curdling scream, or at the very least a big sobbing tear fest. The afternoon went quickly as i conducted guided tours around the rink to show my friends the blood spray pattern in the ice, my friend Tim who is becoming a forensic scientist was cock’o hoop, especially when he saw there was still splatter patterns on my boots. Big shout out to Miss Blurtina who took an early fall but under pressure still managed to hold up the camera and click away for us, a trooper indeed.