Good afternoon Wollongong, today’s selection of offensive cabana wear I’ll be parading is my beloved Don Dunstan inspired pink chenille shorts.

Hand made for me by the ‘Haus of Dianne’ (who’s designs and tailoring work for me has been praised by no less than Jean Paul Gautier).

Let’s see some bogan harlot try and cast a critical eye over these today and live to tell the tale.