Being a card carrying Coulrophobic (Fear of clowns) i was recently sent into a twister of Flying High proportions. I know i shouldn’t post these photo’s, clowns are yucky, like .. ass mites* yucky, however, recently driving back from Sydney, i noticed the circus is in the park near Wolli creek, i had to drive using my knee because my hands were flapping in fear. Dirty weird clown bastards, i didn’t drive to Sydney for 6 weeks when the Moscow circus was in town, they had inflatable clowns everywhere advertising it.

Whilst in Melbourne recently, the boy’s and i stumbled into an Op Shop in St Kilda. I don’t know what came over me, weather it was the minx like forces of the Bel Ami-esque twink behind the counter showing off his bare chest and hypnotising three chest hairs, the exhaust fumes that had been feeding into the car via the opened sun roof, or maybe the preservatives i injested from the meal i gobbled in the Ikea food court, but laying on a chair in the Op Shop was an old plastic clown mask, before you could say ‘Pluck those hairs, put them in a vial and i’ll pay you handsomely’ i picked up said mask, and put it on!. Weirdly i felt anything but scared, just the opposite!, i felt emboldened, naughty, powerful, frisky and just a little bad, but bad in a good bad way. Strangely once i took it off, it all fell away. I can only assume i was in a euphemistic state of mind, and that i realised ‘One should not judge a clown until you’ve walked a mile behind his mask made of poisonous, petrochemical byproducts’, that .. or i realised i could get away with some really obtuse stuff with my face disguised.

* I have no personal experience with, nor do i even know if such things as ‘Ass mites’ even exist, i merely mention them, because on a ‘Yucky Scale’ i would assume they’d rank pretty highly.