There is a cat outside my window, it’s one of those creepy bastard talking ones, it’s not meowing, but totally sounds like it’s trying to speak to me.

That weird noise cats make when they want ‘relations’ . . ‘Ullooooooooo, myoooooooo oooooooow ulloooooooooooo nyoooooooow!!!!!!’.

It sounds confused, like it’s had a stroke. I’m helping it all I can by leaning out the window and trying to interpret it’s frustrated messages, “Yes, you want a root, I’m familiar with your tone, but there are no presenting pussycats here, try over the back fence where the crazy cat lady lives“.

Update:It didn’t go to the crazy cat ladies place, her sons had taken a gut full of pingers and were dancing dementedly around the back yard, the cat did however shut up after we ‘shooshed’ it, we were straining to hear what the hot, drug crazed guys were saying, without the added distraction of cacophonous wailing from a root crazed cat!.