Posts Tagged ‘Guys’

LATEST ADDITION AT TINGLE MANOR, THE INDOOR POOL AREA:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

JUST BECAUSE:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

EVERY SINGLE BOX TICKED:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

DOLLY VARDEN:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

After talking to the girls at lunch yesterday, I want a Dolly Varden cake for my next birthday, hopefully stylised to meet my bad taste requirements.

IN THE PINK:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

WI FI:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

ROBINS NIGHTMARE:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

THE FORCED MEETING OF THE 1970’S, AND BURNT ORANGE:

Sunday, November 27th, 2011

GLASS HALF FULL, PAGE FULL BLANK:

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

MAKEOVER:

Friday, November 25th, 2011

“Scoopon offers medical deals including a non-surgical facelift using laser technology for $189, down from $1200.”

Whoo!!, for that price they can start at my ass, and work their way up! :-)

LIFE WITH ARCHIE:

Friday, November 25th, 2011

Man, if only comics were this cool when i was collecting them when i was but a bubba queen. This week it was announced there will be a Gay wedding in ‘Life with Archie’. I wonder what Big Ethel will make of this?, maybe she’ll finally wake up and get her Dyke on. Mr Weatherby in this photo is looking equal parts shocked, and hot for a piece of the cartoon ass action.

FOR REALS:

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Let me put it simply, i need those glasses, i need that jumper .. life is incomplete until this is resolved.

FIDO AU GO GO:

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

I think i want to date a dog owner, if they’re willing, and able to trail the pooch, and happy to scoop up, and bag it’s stools. I can only wonder at what they’d be willing to do for a devoted partner.

JERRY:

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

THE MORNING AFTER:

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

ALL YOU NEED IS CYCLONE FENCING:

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

LADIES DAY OUT:

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

I ONCE heard JFK make a speech where he mentioned the percentage of salt to water in the human body, is approximately the same ratio of water to salt in sea water.

If thus, it would explain the effect being around water, and inparticular the sea has on me. I’ve always felt very drawn to the ocean, and very calm and safe in it’s presence. I’m the worlds biggest fraidy cat about anything you care to name, but put me in the ocean and i’m fearless, tho very respectful as taught by my dad.

Being under the Aquarius star sign may also have something to do with this sense of confort i get from the sea. I have never become complaceant at the wonder that is Sydney Harbour, the luxury of sitting back outside The Opera House to the sound of lapping water.

RESPECT:

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

After spending the day with my mum in hospital whilst she had a hidious procedure, and seeing the distress and pain of many other aged patients, i was reminded of this photo of Bette Davis i saw years ago, more true words have never been cross stitched.

ORGAN GRINDER:

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

SCHOOL CATCH UP:

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

SCOOP:

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

AUTO TUNING:

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

“When we hold on to our opinions with aggression, no matter how valid our cause, we are simply adding more aggression to the planet, and violence and pain increase. Cultivating non-aggression is cultivating peace. The way to stop the war is to stop hating the enemy. It starts with seeing our opinions of ourselves and of others as simply our take on reality and not making them a reason to increase the negativity on the planet.” – Pema Chodron.

TEDDY’S TOAST:

Monday, November 14th, 2011

“There are good ships, and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are friendships, and may they always be.”

FABULOUS!!:

Sunday, November 13th, 2011

NEWTOWN WINDOW:

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

PRETTY, PRETTY DOCTOR SMITH:

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

Without doubt the sexiest Martian ever, Athena the green lady also proved that aliens aren’t necessarily a smarter race than humans, when poor old Athena tried to ‘turn’ Dr Smith, surely one squeal from HIM should have given her the biggest hint.

THE TAP:

Friday, November 4th, 2011

Just listened to a half hour radio special on Helen Reddy on the drive to Sydney, I couldn’t figure how I knew every word, to every song, then a dark corner of my past cracked open, and I remembered when I was really little I was obsessed with her. HELLO!, couldn’t somebody have nudged me and given me the whisper ‘Greg, you’re a fah-laming QUEEN!!’ – “Angie baby, living in a world of make believe” Helen, you were speaking to me, and I didn’t even know it!.

APATHY IS THE GREATEST WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION:

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

So CHOGM is over, and i bet no one pissed in Robert Mugabes Champagne, or shit in his punch bowl .. what a waste.

SHIT LEOPARD:

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

“A shit Leopard never changes it’s shit spots” – Jim Lahey.

CHARLES HAWTRY AND THE DEAF AIDS:

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

I got all excited thinking this was Charles Hawtry, and the Gayest pumpkin i’d ever seen, then i realised it was Bill Gates :-(

SCHADENFREUDE:

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

That glorious moment when the person talking to you forgets it’s you, and then says something as if they’re talking about you to someone else, then that microsecond in time when they realise what they’ve done, as do you, then get to feast on them panic, trying to figure how to cover it, and to try and deflect the statement. Being the professional that i am, i strung out his agony for at least two full minutes, which is a long time trying to cover the fact you’re a back stabbing, inaccurate gossip. I held a strait face, and covered well, all except my 501 button bursting arousal at his utter and shameful pain.

FACES:

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

TAKE US WITH YOU!!:

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

FAIR DAY 2011, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER:

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

DAPTO LEAGUES CLUB RENOVATIONS 2011:

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

JUST BECAUSE:

Thursday, October 20th, 2011

VANITY FUR:

Thursday, November 25th, 2010

In a fashion spread that is so common place these days, but not so much in Marta’s time, she took the opportunity to be dressed and stylised as some of her favorite icons. As is now expected of Marta, it was more ‘Razors’ than ‘Cutting’ edge. Pain, self mutilation and careless regard for society’s mores is all de rigour when Marta steps before the camera, so moisten a finger, and prepare to flip through the pages of Marta’s latest documented fashion gift to us ..


ABOVE PIC: Marta tips the hat, and quite possibley the scales, in this tribute to Courtney Love, Marta spared no comfort zone in her dedication to nailing her inspirations, right down to infusing her Courtney-esque wig with head lice, and hacking out a piece of her septum.


ABOVE PIC: Esther Williams never needed goggles, but that isn’t going to stop Marta interpreting what she believes Esther should have been decked out in. In true Marta fashion she insisted that her goggles carry her prescription, so in a fashionabley aqueous act she could wear these goggles with evening wear, and to the theatre.


ABOVE THREE PICS: Annette Funicello come on down!, it’s ‘Beach blanket bingo’ with Marta as she takes to the waves, and risks getting sand in her crack, and a pelt matted by the drying effects of salt water, all in the name of fashion. Speaking of, Marta can’t help herself, she has to fuck with our minds. In the first of the above three photo’s, you can see in tribute to the material girl Madge, Marta got a pair of pliars, and snapped off one of her top mollars, unlike Madge, who merely used black gum make up, Marta self medicated, and snapped the fucker off in front of the bathroom mirror, why? .. for Fah-Fah-Fashion.


ABOVE PIC: Cool as ice, or warm as an ice pipe?, Catherine Deneuve gets the nod here, the all too obvious beret, the beige Jackie O mid seventies jacket, and Marta’s own diamond earings cut from the nastiest mountain in South Africa. What can i say, cool, icey, aloof, chilly .. textbook French.


ABOVE PIC: The first of two biker girl tributes by Marta, and it’s no one you would think. Here Marta takes on the role of the sexually unsatisfied Olive Butler from the UK tv series ‘On the buses’, played by Anna Karen. Poor Olive was always relegated to the side car of her husbands motorbike, which Marta feels was a euphemism for women everywhere, and there circumstance at the time. Marta recognises, and pays tribute to the subtle work done in breaking down these barriers by making sure no bugs ever stuck in her teeth, and it was okay to wear diamonds, even tho relegated to a submissive roll in a motorbike side car, and most importantly, to suck on the exhaust fumes, and get off your nut as you were forced to be merely a passenger (even tho zoning off into the alpha).


ABOVE PIC: Ethnic chic as Marta travels to the Middle East and plays a role within a role, here Marta is styled after Michelle Phillips in ‘Valentino’, who was herself playing Natacha Rambova in the movie, shades of the famous Dali painting, of a painting, of a painting, of a painting etc. A subtle nod also goes out to Linda McCartney who refused to shave her legs, and was pilloried from pillar to post because of this act of non conformity, Marta (who personifies the the words ‘In your face’) does not fuck around, and for weeks before the photo shoot, mainlined testosterone directly into her temple, to ramp up the pelt on her upper chest as a casual ‘Fuck you!’, and as a nod of solidarity to her more hirsute sisters.


ABOVE PIC: The second in the ‘Biker girl’ series, here Marta don’s a ‘Pleather’ jacket, jumps out of the side car, takes the handlebars, and becomes Shelly Winters in ‘Cleopatra Jones’. Note the totally Sixties face viser, the collagen stung lips, and the Easy Rider profile, no happy accidents here.


ABOVE THREE PICS: Marta does Martha (‘Stewart’ that is). Is it any wonder that Marta chose to pay tribute to a woman who’s life has encopassed crocheting colostomy bag covers, macrame wall hangings (used primarilly for auto erotic asphyixiation), and two years hard labour in an all womens prison?, didn’t think so. Anyone who thinks that the cream canister in the first pic is going to be used for the desert is vastly mistaken, Marta knows that nothing rocks your world like having a hit of nitrous from a cream canister, immediately after hammering a bucket bong.

In the second photo Marta contemplates using the flacid chicken as a hat, of course this predates Lady Ga Ga’s meat dress by a good thirty years, but the dripping bacteria from the gibblets swayed Marta away from this act of poultry fashion terrorism, even Marta draws the line at stomach cramps, and projectile gastric in the name of fashion.

Can we please make mention of the stately outfit?, from the drop flowered diamond earrings, the almost, but not quite, hounds tooth dress, the finely cut blouse with what i can only assume are Saville Row tailored sleeves and buttons, and the double, and wide banded watch. All for the kitchen, and all for glamour.


ABOVE PIC: ‘Jocelyn’ nothing more to be said.


ABOVE PIC: Lauren Bacall all the way, Marta makes a flowing entrance, it’s all about the movement and the moment. The scolloped front flows down, but pulls up short of the pubic region, it’s Marta saying ‘You can have a bit, but not everything’. For her cuffs Marta has hacked the cuff’s off an old pair of bell bottom slacks and grafted them on here for winter covereage, i’ve seen this dress worn in spring without the extended arm length, making this dress a little more interactive. The flower burst diamond (of course) earings are on display for all to ogle, and in true Marta fashion, her stockings, or leggings, are actually made from the stretched foam coverings used to protect stone fruits in supermarkets. Jeannie Little may have made a career out of making dresses from garbage bags, but no one recycles waste into fashion like Marta.


ABOVE PIC: With a look of stoicism, unaffected detachement and a serene calm, Marta holds aloft no mere accsesory, but a symbol of repression everywhere in the GLBTI community, the humble turkey baster. Years before ribbons, fundraisers and awareness campaigns, Marta would appear at openings, red carpet roll outs and celebrity events clutching the baster, and much like how Paris Hilton walks around with her rat dog living in her purse (what dog wouldn’t want to live in a confined space packed with drugs) Marta would use this not so much as an accesory, but as more of a statement, to get people talking, to open up a dialog and break down the walls of misunderstanding. In this one photo Marta pays tribute to not only every downtrodden GLBTI actor and actress, but to every GLBTI person who has been shitlisted, shafted, derailed and denied the fundemental, and basic human rights that so many others enjoy. Cast aside your ribbons, and hold aloft the turkey baster as the international symbol of working around, and defeating archaic beliefs and systems, put in place to stop us progressing and procreating. Thank you for this gift Marta, thank you for giving us a visual to identify with, VIVA LA BASTER, VIVA LA MARTA!!.

This collection is dedicated to Shelly, a fine person who knows her Simian style.

HAIRMOUTH AU GO GO:

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010

Recently ‘RAGE’ played some old episodes of Countdown, and i was cock o’ hoop to see that they played ‘Product of your mind’ by ‘Jimmy and the boys’, if for no other reason than it features Joylene Hairmouth’s greatest ever filmed performance.

This is the Citizen Kane of Joylene, a veritable Hairmouth cinema verite.

I love this clip soooo fucking much, Joylene is treating the keyboard with such contemp, but it’s trained contemp, she’s going at it like Shirley in the Partridge family, after Ruben Kinkade accidently drugged her, instead of Danny.

Think Marta Hari from Lancelot Linc’s Evolution Revolution .. that style of playing, where the hands look like they are frantically trying to fan someone back into conciousness after a bad, or really good pill.

We all know what was done to those poor bastard monkey’s to get them ramped up and hopping about, simian electro play was the order of the day, and Joylene looks, and performs in this clip like she’s had a car battery freshly clipped to her nipples.

To this very day, each time i enter the Opera House’s grand hall i have a knot in my stomach, knowing that Dame Joan Sutherland and Olivia Newton John opened that place, when all along the first person on the stage should have been the real La Stupenda Joylene.

Let me tell you, i bet Joylene would have had a better camel toe than Olivia did in her black lycra pants in Grease (another starring roll Joylene was jyped out of).

I do my bit, every morning i lay a fresh lilly before the framed photo i have in my lounge room, that was taken last year of Joylene, myself and my filthy bitch bestie ‘Beryl’.

Both Beryl and i agree that besides the night we came across a leather clad, and Rose free Willie Porteous at Sleaze ball, in the downstairs shitters in the Hordern Pavillion, our evening with Joylene was the pinacle of our very existence.

Below are some screen captures i took from the clip. I’ve posted some before, but they were from a lame ass Youtube clip, these are better quality, and it’s all about preserving art in the best possible quality .. and taste.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT:

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

February 12th 2009, a date circled most enthusiastically in my diary, for this was the day when i finally had the honour of paying homage to the most influential lady to ever cross the entertainment, and political stages of Australia. Forget your Chelsea Brown’s and Bronwyn Bishops, none of them hold a melting candle to Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth.

Joylene was starring in a show at the factory theatre ‘Betcha thought i was dead .. ‘ and so it was that the collective Miss’s Tammy, Stephanie, Beryl and Viv went along with butterflies sniffing amyl in our bellies, such was the level of our excitement.

I cant go into a review of the show, it was one of those ‘You just have to see it to believe it’ situations, i went merely excited to be seeing Joylene for the first time but we left having seen an amazingly well written, and sharp piece of theatre.

At the end of the show Joylene left the stage, i thought alas my chance of kneeling before her to pay my respects had flown out the window, but upon leaving the theatre and entering the foyer Miss Stephanie squealed ‘She’s here!’ and so we hung back while Joylene conversed with some friends of hers, i was amazed to realize that for almost the first time in my life i was nervous to be meeting a star!.

I’ve met more famous people than Beryl has had interventions, I’ve done all the biggies, including Diana and Paul McCartney, but Joylene was rooted a little deeper in my belly.

When i thought about it i realised that Joylene was someone who struck a very deep, and early chord with me .. but not an obvious one, Diana yeah for the glam, and Paul for the music, but Joylene went deeper, to a darker more hidden place.

Then it all came together for me while waiting to meet her, when i used to watch Joylene on tv when i was a kid, she was a drag terrorist, she was doing things that no one would dare do in 1970’s Australia, a disemboweling drag queen appearing on the daytime blue rinse Mike Walsh show?, a self immolating drag queen running for the Australian senate?, my little fourteen year old eyes were watching all this, and tho I’ve never had the urge to don an osti frock, i was desperate to be however, and whatever i was meant to be.

I felt crushed, compressed and moulded into what i was supposed to be, or expected to be, but through watching Joylene all those years, it must have sunk in deep, that you can step outside the square, you can do whatever you want to do (sometimes at a high cost, but surely it’s a higher cost to not do that) it is possible to not fit the mold.

I now know that that is what my little eyes were taking in.

When Joylene finished talking to her friends, i went over and introduced myself, and instantly i felt a warmth, a sense of gratitude to her i could not convey. It was a joy for me to see the sense of wonder in Beryl’s eyes as she realised she was in the presence of greatness, she was standing before Australia’s very own Drag terrorist, our very own Filth Queen if you will, and no matter how many rats have lived in Beryl’s drag wigs, she could never hold a torch to Joylenes monolithic, iconic beehive blade (Which should be in the Powerhouse museum along with Joylene’s other fashions, i mean if they can have an exhibition of Diana’s dresses and artifacts surely one dedicated to Joylene cant be far away).

Joylene was so very gracious, and entertained us for several minutes, and accommodated photo’s and autograph’s, we bid our thanks and farewell’s, after fullfilling our desire, to prone ourselves, to prostrate ourselves before her size 12 court heels, in utter gratitude, and thanks.

It was rather telling when we were outside, Stephanie commented ‘Isn’t it lovely when you meet someone you love and admire, and they aren’t an arsehole’.

Click here for my previous Joylene post.

Once again Joylene, thank you from the heart of my bottom.

Eric Oldfield.

Saturday, November 1st, 2008

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My first crush.