Posts Tagged ‘Television’

JOYLENE THORNBIRD HAIRMOUTH:

Saturday, April 21st, 2007

Thanks to Claustral for the above photo.

Over the last few days i’ve been moving some stuff out
of my old room at my mums house, under the dust and
spider webs i found a pile of my old music magazines
from the late 70’s/early 80’s, i was totally blown
away when i found my collection of clippings and
magazines on the Aussie band ‘Jimmy and the boys’

I hope you all remember this
outrageous band, they were wild, out of control but in looking back they were a great band. Their shows were equal parts theatre and punk, i
was, and AM, devoted to their cross dressing
keyboard player ‘Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth’

Joylene used to faux disembowel herself on stage using
offal, all the while Iggy the lead singer would be
burning baby dolls around her.

In 1980 Joylene ran for the senate and i remember my
sister who worked for the electrol commision at the
time keeping me up to date with Joylenes progress, i
just found the below info on the net, Joylene v’s
Fred Nile!! (Where are you now Joylene!? we need you in
the senate now more than ever!)

1980
SENATE

NEW SOUTH WALES 3,184,997 enrolled, 2,999,196
(94.2%) voted
=======================================================
Five senators to be elected: Quota for election
452,977
——————————————————-
Fred Nile CTA 110,940
04.1 Group A

Joylene Hairmouth 4,334
00.2 Q:0.010

2nd count: McClelland’s 754,205 surplus votes
distributed
————–
Nile 430 (00.1) 111,370
04.1
Hairmouth 31 (00.0) 4,365
00.2
——————————————————–
> 754,205 2,717,858
——————————————————

Classic!! over four thousand votes for a drag queen
way back in 1980!, remember .. this was way
before Priscilla, The sum of us, Queer as folk etc, Joylene
was at the forefront of all that came after.

I remember as a fourteen year old sitting up in the
school library with my friend Vinnie making up ‘How to
vote’ pamphlets for Joylene with a drawing of her on
the front, i absolutely mastered colouring in Joylenes
patented beehive curved wig (‘The Blade’ as we called it)
somewhere during one of my moves i lost the last of
these drawings, i still had one up until a couple of
of years ago, i remember one
of the policies was ‘Put a scone in parliment’

I think i even wrote a song about her, one of the lines
was ‘She’s the queen of the queens’.

To this day whenever mum comes back from the hairdresser
and she’s worried her hair is a little over teased, mum
will ask us ‘It’s not too Joylene is it?’

My friend Ves once told me of a game .. ‘You should have
known you were gay when …. ‘ where you think back
and list the obvious signs, when i think back, how did
i kid myself that people didnt know i was a flaming
queen! a fourteen year old becoming politically active
and aware by supporting a disembowling drag queen!!??

I also found a heap of cassettes at mums that i’d
taped using a little tape machine i’d set up in front
of the tv speaker, they were full of Bette Midler and
Debbie Harry interviews! and i DO remember my
mum saying to me once ‘Dont you think you should like
younger girls?’ .. seriously another ‘You should have
known’ moments.

Please enjoy my humble little tribute to someone who
touched a closeted young queen in Wollongong with her
guts and glory at a time when Australia was a lot harsher place ..

Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth ..

Below: This is a screen capture from the ‘I’m not like everybody else’ video, i love Joylenes Christine Mcvie wig here.

Below: Screen captures from the video for ‘Product of your mind’ i think i remember reading at the time that this was filmed at WIN 4 studios in Wollongong, i remember being quite excited when i heard that .. being a Gong boy and all, this promo is most amazing for the mere fact that never at any other time was Joylenes ‘Blade’ wig so majestically displayed, there are a couple of photos below that capture the true splendour of the beserk cranio bush.

BELOW: I just have to comment on the screen capture below, just look at the confidence in Joylene, she looks like nothing in the world could take her on, not even Gamera or Ghidra on speed, the ‘Blade’ wig is fully extended and shown here for the weapon it was .. a weapon of fashion, extended like the arch of a peacocks tail. Please take note in this clip how Joylene attacks the keyboard with stabs of her hands, i cant help but feel Joylenes style of playing was somewhat influenced by the clips of the keyboard player in Lancelot Link and the Evolution Revolution




Below: A still from the ‘They wont let my girlfriend talk to me’ video, to me Joylene looks just like Maggie Dence who played Aunty Rose Sullivan in the tv series of the same name

Below: Maggie Dence (I need a pic of her as Rose Sullivan so you can see what i mean)

Below: Joylene really was the ultimate rock chick.






Below: Cabaret Joylene.

Below: An example of my Joylene art.

Below: Joylene the minx.





Below: ‘Joylene Unlimited’ Hmmmmm, i think Donnie Sutherland who hosted Sounds Unlimited must have had a soft spot for Joylene as i can recall at least a couple of interviews with Joylene on that show (OH to have had a video recorder in those days) as you can see by the photo producer Allan Carr was on the show once with Joylene, and even (gulp) got to don her famous ‘Blade’ wig.


Below: Joylene more recently with Vanessa Wagner, proving she is still all class and beauty.


Below: My favorite photo of our beloved Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth, Thank you Joylene from the heart of my bottom, for without realising it at the time you helped form, nurture and encourage that part of me that likes to dance around and step outside the square, while others are content to stay inside it and never feel the joy of being unshackled from societies mores.

Not sure of the names of the photographers, i know Bob King took a lot of Joylene, please contact me so i can give credit.

BERNARD KING:

Tuesday, February 24th, 2004

Before i launch off into a discourse on ‘this’ years Mardi Gras Fair day in Sydney,
I thought i’d cast my mind back a few years to the 2001 Fair day held at
Victoria Park in the city.

Its no big secret that I spend WAY too much time following and adoring celebrities.
Obtusely the objects of my affection are mostly, and come to think of it, have always been,
not your average celebrity that most people would keep scrapbooks on.

No, I’ve always followed the less loved, the misunderstood, the vulgar, the crude and the twisted.
Fairday 2001 offered me the chance to meet someone who was NONE of those things ..

He was simply * Bernard *

Or for the tragic few readers who know not of whom I speak, ‘Bernard King’.

Without realising it, Bernard was probably my first gay hero. He was a celebrity chef on mid afternoon television in Aussie, with his shows actually being filmed right here in Wollongong at WIN 4. Bernard really became a star when he was hired to be a judge on the afternoon talent show ‘Pot of gold’ that ran through the mid 1970′s. I see all these kids now ranting about how cutting and funny Dick(head)o and Mark (somebody slam him please) Holden are on Australian idol, but don’t they realise that they are merely flaccid, pathetic imitations of the true master ‘Bernard’?. You see on Pot of gold Bernard would not hold his tongue, would not avert a death stare in the middle of someone’s act. He was harsh and cruel, without any pretence of political correctness. My brother and I would sit glued to the television, just waiting for his total character, and emotional assassination of the hapless contestants. He was merciless, and we rocked back and forth in glee as he took aim at atonal, discordant, singing sisters in matching blue taffeta dresses and eye shadow. He would draw breath and say, ‘Dress sense zero, singing zero, dancing zero, future zero .. your not very good are you?, no body’s told you that have they’.

Bernard would always say that it was for their own good when he made them cry, and cry they did. Once there was this guy dancing on the show, he looked like a reject from the rejected dancers from ‘You cant stop the music’. He was whirling around in his ball separating satin hot pants, he went for a high kick, and you could practically hear the twang of his ham string as it snapped. He hopped and crawled around the stage, earning nothing more than a dismissive sideways glance from Bernard, as he threw to a commercial break.

It was so funny, without knowing it I was collecting gay hero’s even at that very young age. Not for me the league legends of the day, give me Bernard, Bert or Joylene Thornbird Hairmouth anyday (remind me to blog about Joylene sometime)

All those years later walking around Fair day we spotted Bernard parading, dressed up like a dandy, looking not unlike a crisp Quintin. I must say my legs went to jelly at the sight of him, this really threw me. I’ve met all the big names, from Don Lane to Diana, but Bernard had me shaking.

Finally my friends Mariana and Barbs pushed me towards him, I extended my hand with a simple greeting, would he savage me?, would he dismiss me with a wave?, no, he cocked his head and offered a very polite hello. We stood and had a charming chat for a good ten minutes, he was incredulous when I told him I had all four of his ‘Kings kitchen four seasons’ cookbooks. He assured me that there were some very tasty recipes in between the pages.

It was lovely to meet someone who holds such a command over your memory bank. I’ll never forget, just as we said our farewells, Bernard took my hand and said, ‘Greg, always make your own condiments’.

I think there is something in that for all of us, don’t you?.

Bernard pioneered television advertorials in Australia, doing whatever it took to promote sponsor-supplied products, even if it meant cooking a whole fish in saccharine sweetened grapefruit flavoured soft drink.

I’m so glad I got a photo taken that day with my first gay hero.

Tammy: Duchess of Oven.