What else to do on a freezing, rainy, Sunday afternoon, but list the first five seven inch singles ever given to me, or that i purchased. I have no shame on this list, in fact i couldn’t be prouder, and wouldn’t change one of them.

#1

The EP of South Pacific, given to me by my eldest sister Dianne. ‘Some enchanted evening’ really is the first piece of music i can remember hearing.

#2

A childrens record, i have no idea where this came from, maybe my mum. The opening song ‘Boys and girls come out to play’ was always my favorite, many years later i had it as my answer machine music.

#3

‘Long haired lover from Liverpool’, i’m pretty sure this was gifted to me by my sister Rhonda. I have a memory of being able to, and actually singing this all the way through when i was little, i probably still could .. for the right money.

#4

‘Ben’ by Michael Jackson, this may have been the first song i heard on the radio, and asked someone to buy for me.

#5

‘Hey Paula’ by Ernie Sigley and Denise Drysdale. Without question, this is the very first record i ever purchased, some would feel mortifying shame, i only feel boundless pride, such is the camp value, such is the musical terror, the utter wrongness, that i wear this reality as a badge of filth honor. I vividly remember going up to Corrimal and purchasing the record, it was in a little recod shop up a side ally.

It cost me fifty cents, and i almost wore it out, mostly from playing it backwards. I guess i was about nine when i got this, i had a little record player and cassette machine in my room, i used to make weird tapes, and years before i heard about them, or they probably even existed, i would make ‘Scratch’ recordings, where i would drive the record player backwards using my thumb, and record it onto tape.

I would find a rhythm and rock my thumb backwards, and forwards creating a beat. I was off school one day when i was little, with a chest infection. I was playing with my tapes, and while scratching an ‘Alf Garnett’ comedy album of him singing, i accidently recorded a cough, which came out on the tape looped.

Over the last week while preparing to move, i found a box of ancient cassettes, on some of them were some of these backwards, and scratchy tapes.

Is it any wonder i was a loner and ostracized as a child?, most other kids were outside kicking a ball, i was in my room playing Alf Garnett, and Alice in wonderland records backwards.

You can hear “Hey Paula” HERE

And my looped coughing fit, and guitar, mixed with Alf Garnett titled “Primal Garnett” HERE