GRANDPA: Just before flying down to Melbourne i thought it might be a fun idea to slap a little dye on the old greying locks, just recently the silver has started to really shine through, so much so that i realised i was starting to resemble Grandpa Munster!, so over the weekend a couple of mates and i got out the mortar and pessel and started to munch up various herbs, roots and chemicals to rub into my hair to see if we could ‘Demunster-ise’ it, quite amazingly the results werent too bad, over the next couple of days i’ll post an ‘after’ shot.

CARMEN GEDDIT:


Last night i finally got around to watching the Logies highlights dvd i purchased when i was last in Melbourne, i picked this little gem up at J&B HI FI which is without a doubt the best shop in the universe, so as i’m reliving past glories and disasters the camera panned around the room at one of the early 1970’s Logies events, for just a split second i caught sight of a woman sitting behind Patti Newton and without thinking i said ‘That’s Carmen Van Hoorn she was Don Lanes date that night’.

Can someone, ANYONE .. please mail me and tell me how it can be that i cant remember my own phone number but i can without flinch recall the name of Don Lanes date from the early 1970’s? .. i seriously worry myself sometimes, it’s not natural, it’s not normal is it?.

JOCELYN: There’s a lot i could say, but do i need to? .. suffice to say Jocelyn has a special corner in my heart.

GRAND DAME: What i would give to lash out at Camilla’s hair with a pair of scissors.

PERFECT ONE DAY: The weekend before last Adam and I spent in Qld celebrating my Brother in laws birthday, while up there we took the chance to get out a little.

PHOTO 1-2-3: ‘Q1’ (or as we called it ‘The finger of Thorpe’ so called due to the fact that they use Ian Thorpe as the buildings spokesperson) the worlds tallest residential building, amazing views all around and the elevators were a little scary as they covered 76 floors in 43 seconds!

PHOTO 4: The downside of development, the shadows.

PHOTO 5: The view down to Byron bay.

PHOTO 6-7-8: Whilst on the Gold Coast Adam myself, my sister and my niece went to a Big Brother eviction, of course we were howling and baying for blood like the best of them, but we totally paled into insignificance to some of the Big Brother obsessive there .. Truly scary people who don’t understand the line drawn between real life and reality tv.

THE SPLIT ENDS:
After 22 years apart Split Enz have reunited and are touring Aussie, it is the classic 1980 line up from the ‘I got you’ era, some friends and i headed to Sydney to catch the 3rd gig of the tour and what a great concert it was, the Finn brothers really are one of the major talents in music, no doubt. After the concert Steve and i done the old ‘Lets wait around the stage door’ trick and it payed off with me getting cool photo’s of the band and an autograph.

S-T-A-U-N-C-H:







Big Edie and Little Edie Bouvier Beale, AKA the aunt and first cousin of Jackie Kennedy, AKA the ‘star’s’ of the documentary Grey Garden’s. Imagine two headstrong women, a mother and daughter living in a ramshackle, dilapidated twenty six room mansion overrun with dozens of cat’s, rat’s and bandicoot’s, the kitchen waist deep in trash, shunned by high society of which they were once a queen and princess, two women who right to the end literally danced to the beat of their own drum. The Edies .. a true inspiration to me.

A (NICE) DAY IN THE LIFE: Had a really nice weekend filled with family, friend’s, music and surprises.

PHOTO 1:

Adam and i took his mum to breakfast at our favorite cafe ‘Mudcat’s’ so Adam could surprise her with the news that she would be accompanying him to Europe on an all expenses paid trip that Adam won in a competition on Friday, Adam’s mum paid for breakfast

PHOTO 2:

Found this lovely flowered glove in the orchestra pit.

PHOTO 3:


The ACT band, four show’s over three days, how do REAL band’s do it? i was shagged after these few show’s.

PHOTO 4:

The obligatory Burger King stop on the way home, i like to stick my animal cruelty pamphlets up on the order speakers, call me radical.

POSEIDON AD VENTURE:

One of my earliest memories is of my sister taking me to the movies (the Gala Warrawong i think) to see the original ‘Poseidon adventure’ i’m sure it had a profound effect as it started a lifelong love of Irwin Allan disaster movies, i’m pretty excited to see the new version will soon be playing down here, it’s had bad reviews but give me an upside down boat and a heap of b grade actors and i’m there!.

THE BRIDGE: Adam and i at the back of Darling Harbour, you can see Sydney Harbour Bridge just to the left, i always feel so charged up walking around the harbour and the city, it really does have a vibe.

COWARD OF THE COUNTY: ‘Ya gotta know when to roll them, know when to fold them’ when Kenny sung those words i dont think he was talking about the skin he’d one day have excised from his eye lids.

MELBORN IN REFLECSHON: The crisp winter air of Melbourne is calling me, i love Melbourne in winter and i’m really excited about my trip back down there in October with Adam, i was hoping to go back in July but seeing as we won a short trip to the goldfields we may as well tie it all in.

I know someone from Sydney isnt supposed to ‘really’ like Melbourne but i cant help it, i adore the place, tho i would never move there as each time i travel down there it’s exciting and special. What brought on this ‘whist’ for the shivery city? clearing out my disc on my digital camera i found a few photo’s from my holiday last month.

ROBYN: Robyn and i having a bevy and catching up on our trips to the U.S at the end of last year, when not travelling the world Robyn can often be found outside KFC in the city protesting the slaughter of innocent animals, bless her cotton socks.

SQUINT: Here is phillip and i on the banks of the Yarra, at this time we were trying to escape the acrobatic escapades of a rather highly strung unhinged person who seemed to pop up where ever we were, can you see the resolve on Phillip’s face not to squint into the sun and show off any fledgling crows feet?

A BEVY:

SCAREY MONSTER: I’m very partial to folks who stylise there cars with things slightly more interesting than spoilers and mags, in Bondi we once saw a car totally covered in astro turf and small plastic farm animals, whilst in Melbourne we found this car which had this scarey childs rocker attached to the roof racks.

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Call me old fashioned but I love a good conspiracy theory, here is my latest .. My gorgeous partner Adam has been on a health kick of late, stripping off weight like no ones business, descending into a miasma of a Mary Kate Olsen/Kate Ritchie existence, I’m just waiting for him to start donning the ‘Jackie O’ fly glasses to complete the ensemble, thing is Adam is still doing nice things for me and making me yummy treats like Oreo ice cream cakes, sugar and cinnamon pretzels etc, now my thinking is maybe he has some sort of inverse bulimia munchausen’s where he’s feeding me so I get puffy and all the while he gets more glamorous, is this possible? i’ve been inspired by Jamie on Big Brother and been staring into space a lot lately and thinking a lot and coming up with idea’s, this is my most impressive so far.

* I must add a footnote .. i have no problem suffering through this
in fact i may get out my favorite recipe book and encourage it, perhaps in
some twisted way we’ll be able to start claiming vegatable terrines and
puff pastry on Medicare .. what a thought.

POST LOGIES GOSS:

* WHILE Tracey Grimshaw, Karl Stefanovic, Mel Doyle, David Koch and the rest of the Beaconsfield TV talent forewent this year’s Logies to stay in Tassie for the story, there was one person who wasn’t going to miss the chance to dress up like a princess.

Naomi Robson flew to Crown Casino from the mine for the glitz and glamour before flying back to Beaconsfield yesterday. Lucky for her the miners were still underground when she got back.

While Robson skipped the red carpet, her make-up truck made an appearance thanks to The Chaser boys who took the mickey with a truck.

Poor old Naomi, havent they got it in for her? .. cant say I mind, I cant stand the way she sits in front of the camera on Today Tonight all pius after doing story slamming a not to bright family or something, glad the Chaser boys are after her and just who is leaking all those blooper tapes of her?.

* REACTION to the Bec and Lleyton baby stunt was far from supportive. “Poor Mia Hewitt! She’s in danger of becoming Australia’s own Paris Hilton and she can’t even walk yet,” said one outraged viewer. Bec Hewitt, another one who grates on me, not sure how she got so far in television with that voice

How tacky were ther red carpet arrivals, all that was was a half hour advertorial for all the designers and shoe makers, a constant parade of moronic airheads walking up the ackminster swishing around in there modified Osti frocks trying to get the name of the designer in as many times as possible just so they wouldnt have to pay for the dress .. blech!!

* SONIA Kruger’s stack was only bettered by Bert Newton who suffered a doozey backstage, spraining his hand, bruising his nose and forehead and walking away with a sore knee after falling off the stage following the show.

Newton was comforted backstage by co-presenters Daryl Somers and Georgie Parker before wife Patti came and took him home.

I wonder if Bert was a little ‘tired and emotional’? hope his wig didnt fly off.

* FORGET Mr Big, Chris Noth is Mr Sleaze. The 52-year-old former Sex and the City star quickly made a name for himself as a big time player, hitting on women left, right and centre at the awards ceremony and Channel 10’s after party.

At one stage he was heard inviting a couple of girls back to his room, quoting his room number to the TV babes who later said he was “arrogant and sexist.”

Oh dear, thats taken a little shine off my ‘Big’ facination.

LOGIE MOMENTS: Last night a few of us sat down and settled in for a Sunday night of trash viewing, first up we had the spectacle of the first Big Brother eviction, i felt strangely unfullfilled as this year there is no one i really dislike, except for maybe Camilla (the name alone should be reason enough to dislike her) but like the dutiful trash buckets we are we still wrung glee out of the first evictee’s discomfort and misfortune. We channel surfed over to the Logies just in time to see the HORROR that is Joan Rivers face, as you all know the fastest way to my heart is to have your face taken to with scalples, needles and chemicals, but Joan had me feeling a little queazy. As per usual the night decended into a drunken charade of people thinking what they are doing is really important to the world, why dont they have the nurses awards, or the ambulance driver awards? i’m sure they have more insights to life and it’s value than a half stung and jittering soapie starlett who comands the stage for a WAAAAAAY too long speech about how her art is bringing about world peace, of course i love all this, but really .. most of them do need a slap. Bravo to Maggie T (a woman i truely admire, in her 70’s, feisty, glamourous and not a nip or tuck) for telling the assembled drunken pilled up masses to basically shut up and pull their heads in while she was making a speech. Mi Amor Adam, and Tyson and Min made an appearance for this gab fest, all agreed the Logies needs a director who knows the word ‘cut!’

PHOTO 1: Cradling myself as i sit through another embarrasing speech, Adam blurrily scratches my head to try and calm my discomfort.

PHOTO 2: Tyson gleams all the goss from my vintage collection of Tv Week magazines, just how long has Bert been around?

MELBOURNE PT-1: Got to spend a great week in Melbourne recently, I love going down there to stay with Phillip and to catch up with a heap of friends, below I’ve posted some photo’s of people and places I got to see during my stay.

PIC 1

My first stop in Melbourne is always to my favorite wiggery where I get the rug scrubbed, knitted and platted back into shape.

PIC 2

Phillip always introduces me to the yummiest restaurants then gives me the once over for putting on weight this pic was taken at the ‘Spud bar’ all i can say is yum yum yum!.

PIC 3

My friend Dave, he has a collection of Liberace books to rival my own.

PASS THE BLOW TORCH:


Aaaaaah, just when you thought Farrah had the plastic surgery 2006 awards all sewn up (ahem) along comes Kenny and Burt, take a bow gents, i tip my hat to you.

THE FACE OF GAY ACCEPTANCE IN AUSTRALIA:

Read more ..

OREO:

Before i flew to Melbourne Adam made me a going away gift, i think he pulled out the ‘Bernard King – sweets for my sweetie’ cookbook and whipped up these soon to be violently masticated delights, basically they are small chocolate cakes that you cut in half, then spoon in Oreo choc chip ice cream and put the top of the cake back on, i only had the capacity to wolf down two of these morsals before i left, but i burnt up the phone lines between Adam and i checking that NO ONE was going to decimate my stash of the puffy and airy brown blobs, goodness knows visitors to ‘Rancho Rotalacta’ pillage and violate my fridge and freezer like starving pirates, upon my return i was somewhat relieved to find the marauding western samoan prairie dogs (ie hungry visitors) had deemed it fit to leave me a smattering of the brown nuggets. Did i mention how fantastically brillient these taste?

ON SALE:

I’ve been lucky and spoilt enough over the years to receive many many presents and gifts, but if I had to choose my favorite it was the last gift my dad ever gave me, it’s so precious to me and i wouldnt exchange it for the world, it’s a plastic cup that had chocolate in it, the best part is that it’s covered in price reduction stickers from $3.18 down to $1.50. I know dad wouldnt have been thinking of the chocolate, it would have been the fact that it was covered in the scabby stickers, that’s one of the things i miss most about him, his subtle humour .. everyone who knew him would tell you that his humour was very rarely subtle. Even twenty years later the mere sight of this cup brings an instant smile to my face. I’ve also posted a photo of my dad in his Air force uniform, i think he was just about the most handsome man you’d ever see.

ROCKET LAUNCHER:

This car has been driving around Wollongong for as long as I can remember, just recently I’ve seen it parked near my place .. It is the most cliched ‘wog mobile*’ you could imagine, it’s an old silver Valiant that has been tricked up, it has a sun roof, a spoiler that wouldn’t look out of place on the Space Shuttle, more red reflectors than you can poke a stick at and until recently it even had white walled tyres, it really looks outrageous as it snakes and roars around the streets.

* Not a racist term .. more a term of respect.