Gregs bed.

November 28th, 2014

Rubber nipples.

November 28th, 2014

So, confusing areola with aioli can cause a little confusion when ordering scrambled eggs. I can see this is going to be a psychological stumbling block for me every time i order breakfast now. The sad thing is, I didn’t even know what an areola was.

Crying wolf.

November 20th, 2014

Audit.

November 20th, 2014

It’s a gas.

November 20th, 2014

Davey Lane over Newtown.

November 20th, 2014

Venture.

November 20th, 2014

Photo courtesy of the Lost Wollongong Facebook group.

Piccadilly

November 19th, 2014

I like the tradition, and what was the necessity of Polari.

I like to litter my conversation with a sprinkling of an odd word, or a phrase of Polari, It’s my small nod to my queer forebears, passing along a camp tradition.

I don’t like the idea that Queer acceptance into the “mainstream” (beige stream) means all vestiges of my woofter past should be, or need be, discarded in embarrassed shame.

It may only be a painted nail or two, or a twist of phrase, or preferencing ‘everyones’ name with ‘Miss’, or having ‘Lady’ names, but it’s a rich part of my history i will not abandon.

The following article originally appeared in the Sydney Star Observer.

Gary Nunn— October 14, 2014

YOU may not know it, but gay men used to speak their own language. It was called Polari, and it was fantabulosa (wonderful).

Okay, it was less of a language and more of a cant — a coded set of words used exclusively to avoid detection by unwanted outsiders — including the police, disapproving conservative society or the group on the table next to you that you’re bitching about.

Polari, used in the early 20th century in larger cities in a very priggish Britain, forms part of a long tradition of gay lexicon: the words used by gay men and, to a slightly lesser extent, lesbians. The language we use about ourselves and each other is still coded even today — often to spare the blushes of outsiders or to shroud in secrecy our peccadillos, put-downs and peculiar fetishes.

But Polari is where it all began. You’ll see from the Z–A table on the following page (done backwards in Polari’s subversive tradition) that many Polari words had common themes. It’s no accident that there were several coded names for the police — such as Sharpering Omees, Jennifer Justice, Orderly Daughters, Hilda Handcuffs, Betty Bracelets, Lily Law. The use of female names for what was, back then, a predominantly male force cheekily undermines their authority. Polari was spoken at a time when homosexuality was illegal in Britain, so avoiding detection was as important as expressing a contempt for the law and its enforcers. Polari sits in the same bracket as other cryptolects. A cryptolect is a secretive language used to confuse and exclude others and affirm the character and solidarity of a marginalised subculture. In that sense, hip hop rap, cockney rhyming slang and Polari are all cousins.

Polari’s weapon was camp — imprinting a flamboyant flair and strange panache using a complete mish-mash of words — borrowed from cockney rhyming slang, backslang (when a word is pronounced backwards such as the Polari riah, esong and emag — hair, nose and game), Yiddish, Italian, theatre slang and naval slang. Even the Aussie “cossy” (costume) features in Polari. You might have dropped a Polari word into a sentence to surreptitiously show the attractive man you were talking to that you’re gay — or test if he was. Or to avoid disapproval — even arrest. Or simply to bitch and get away with it.

Polari shows its age with some casual racism (Schvartza for black man; Schinwhars for Chinese person) but it was also a cheeky way of speaking sexily in public without attracting attention — Kerterver cartzo so nanti arva (I can’t have sex because I’ve got an STI) — was hardly something you’d broadcast. Similarly, Nada to vada in the larder (small penis) was a phrase you’d keep on the down low.

Professor Paul Baker, from Lancaster University’s Department of Linguistics, is a world expert on Polari. When asked why Polari didn’t exist in Australia (Editor’s note: Polari does indeed exist in Australia.) or why lesbians didn’t have their own Polari, he said it was because it was born out of a very oppressed group in a very particular time.

“Although Australia has ‘the beat’ as code for public restrooms, Polari flourished (in Britain) as a result of extreme oppression of gay men, plus the presence of other groups on the edges of society, all thrown together due to London’s large population,” he said.

“So the conditions for Australia weren’t the same.”

What about lesbians? Although evidence suggests they did use Polari, it was only in small numbers.

Professor John Hajek from Melbourne University’s School of Linguistics said: “Lesbians were a less identifiable group than gay men — hence they’re less known for their own subculture and therefore slang. But some terms exist, often playful. For example: Hasbian — former lesbian, Saturday night lesbian — only gay at the weekends.”

Unlike gay men, the law never specifically outlawed lesbian sex so, as with many forms of gay subculture, the women were invisible.

But is Polari an endangered language and should we preserve it? Professor Baker believes so.

“That’s why I did my PhD in it and created an app for it,” he said.

“I didn’t want the voices of the men and women who lived through that period to be forgotten. So often history is of the powerful, not the disempowered.

“But preserving something isn’t the same as reviving it. I don’t want the conditions which brought it into being to be repeated. We never need to hide our sexuality from anyone. We have nothing to be ashamed of.”

Polari was popularised by the 1960s BBC radio series Round the Horne, which featured two camp Polari speakers, Julian and Sandy. Once it gained popularity, the cat was out of the bag. 1967 saw the decriminalisation of homosexuality in Britain — hence making Polari redundant.

However, in many ways today we speak our own coded language. Take for example the zoological labels gay men apply to each other, denoting weight, age and hirsuteness. “Bear” for hairy, older and larger; “cub” for hairy, younger and larger; “otter” for hairy, younger and slimmer; “silver fox/wolf” for older and attractive; “pink panther” for a straight man who frequents gay bars to seduce women; “Woof!” to express physical approval of someone; and “twink/chicken” for younger, smoother and prettier. “Chicken” itself was a Polari word, though twink is more common nowadays.

Is this animalistic vernacular vulgar, primal and dehumanising or playfully affectionate? Or — simply another code for us to fetishise and bitch about each other?

Soto Aivalis is categorised as a cub and he said he finds it “cute and funny, even though I didn’t even know what one was 5/6 years ago”.

He said it happened more often online: “Everyone’s trying to be a bit funnier, plus it’s easier to call someone a cub in that space than face-to-face. In the real world it might come across as awkward.”

John Kuna, a member of the Harbour City Bears, agreed.

“I’ve found the majority of the bear community, since coming out, as friendly and supportive so for me the term ‘bear’ has many positive connotations. Plus, hey, I’m big and hairy so it pretty much fits,” he said.

“There’s no point trying to reject labels. People need labels to make sense of things, to identify with their ‘tribe’ so to speak. Most people want to identify with something, even those who say they don’t like being labelled will stick to certain brands or wear a certain type of clothing. Without even realising we all inadvertently try to fit in.

“To date I’ve never heard my social group use these terms as a put down. And c’mon what’s not to like about a big, stocky bear?”

However, call Craig Mack a bear (or an otter or a cub) and he’s likely to growl at you.

“I’ve always felt uncomfortable with people being judged and categorised by their looks. Labels can help you find your place in a community, but I don’t think they should wholly define your place in the world,” he said.

“They also make it difficult for us to ‘cross borders’ into other communities. More recently though, I’ve become indifferent because labels are, ultimately, meaningless.

“I’ve crossed so many communities and been the twink, the cub, the drag queen, the leather pup, the gym bunny and the party animal. I relate to all of them but none of those terms wholly define me. They all form part of who I am today, rather than a singular stereotypical characteristic.”

Outside the gay community, these animal terms are bemusing. Interestingly, today gay code is global — for example, “bear” would be understood by gay communities internationally. Due to the internet and phone apps that allow you to explore in different countries, the gay language is no longer isolated to one place and time. It has become a universally understood and adopted code within a large community. More similarly coded, quirky terms are likely to spring up and spread quickly so gay people can speak to (or about) each other in further exclusive and interesting ways.

Lesbians use similar classifications and witticisms to categorise one another. Femme, butch, bull-dyke are all common terms. Consistent lesbians tease the fluidity some women experience in their sexual orientation and use GUG (gay until graduation) for women who experiment at university, or a term popularised by Orange is the New Black — “gay for the stay” (only a lesbian while in prison).

Today’s coded gay language lacks the imagination and flair of Polari, but it does serve a similarly functional purpose. Many gay app profiles — especially in the US — will use “420 friendly” as a way of saying “I like to get stoned” without being too ostentatious (the origins of 420 are widely disputed, but the most likely etymology comes from a group of US students who used to meet at 4.20pm to smoke weed and this became adopted as code for consuming marijuana). It sits within a long tradition of using drug slang to avoid attracting the wrong attention or judgement.

To many straight people, the alphabet soup of the initialism LGBTI makes our community seem quite peculiar. However, really it shows a vibrant diversity and warm inclusiveness that endearingly, wants to see nobody feeling like an outsider. The semantics of equality may not be as sexy, catchy or witty, yet they reflect a community that has moved from marginalised and ostracised to mainstream — and even celebrated.

Now you’re speaking my language.

**This article first appeared in the October 2014 issue of the Star Observer.

Knit one, pearl two.

November 19th, 2014

Fractured fairytale.

November 19th, 2014

And a plate.

November 19th, 2014

Best Halloween costume ever.

November 19th, 2014

376.

November 19th, 2014

Oh Roger!.

November 19th, 2014

Chilled Itt.

November 18th, 2014

Ratfink.

November 18th, 2014

Mayan birthday.

November 18th, 2014

Thanks for the Mayan birthday wishes everyone.

I’ve realized celebrating my birthday each year by only acknowledging the Roman/Christian calendar is probably borderline racist, so i now embrace the Mayan (where my birthday is today) Chinese and Greek calendars as well, and spookily my birthday falls on different days.

Am I missing any culturally different calendars?, like I said, this is solely about being inclusive, I don’t like to be greedy, it’s not in my nature, but I feel awful all these years excluding other cultures from my celebratory calendar, but I vow to stop that immediately.

. . ooh!!!!, I just had a thought!, I wonder what my name day is in Greece!?

Paint sniffer.

November 18th, 2014

Orange cat.

November 18th, 2014

Johnny.

November 18th, 2014

Lone star.

November 18th, 2014

“Dance like you have a trick pelvis, sing like everyone thinks you’re Yoko Ono, and love as if the Rohypnol will never kick in”.

I think that’s how it goes?.

NUMBER 96.

November 10th, 2014

Last night marked what i hope will be Miss Tammys return to polite (cough) society, after a forced absence of two years due to a few health ‘Issews’.

I was welcomed back in the best possible way, a Fortieth anniversary celebration extravaganza for the Number 96 movie.

What a night it turned out to be!, i was so worked up and excited after it, I couldn’t get to sleep until 1.00am, and i don’t mind saying, there were a few tears before bedtime.

I arrived in a highly excited state (‘Fizzing at the bung’ to use quaint Wollongong parlance). Simply watching the movie would have been enough, but with the prospect of a ‘Number 96 immersion experience’ on the cards, i couldn’t help but be a bit frisky with anticipation.

We were met at the entrance by ‘Claire Houghton’, who checked our tickets and offered a very warm welcome, the frisson of Bri Nylon was in the air.

Princess Stephanie (She of the Pink Palace of Petersham) and i made our way in and found our seats. Casting my eyes across the table i was struck immobile with an instant searing in my nethers, i saw a note had been left there for none other than Maggie Cameron!, warning of an imminent bomb blast, if i’d worn my pearls i would have been clenching them!! (who could ever forget Bettina Welch’s amazing performance as Maggie when she stared into a mirror, attached to a wardrobe surely purchased from Joyce Mayne. So repulsed was she by her image, she threw a glass of vodka upon the mirror as we watched her reflected image weep, and cascade, tears of hooch).

I needed a drink to calm my nerves, there were pockets of ‘Beresk’ inside me that had laid dormant for forty years, my hands were beginning to involuntarily flutter and flap. Stepping up to Normas bar i was greeted by . . well, i guess it was Norma, tho never before have i ever felt sexual urges towards someone calling me ‘Duckie’, but hey, i’m almost fifty, life is teaching me not to question too much.

Once ‘He-Norma’ had adjusted his very Norma-esque wig, and most importantly stopped lifting his dress to fan, cool and aerate his no doubt super heated intimate area (nothing raises a sweat like dense polyester) i was served my sherry with a dash of GI cordial.

All the while playing in the background was music so fantastic, so wonderful, it is not even worthy of Spotify or Pandora, where else could you hear the lilting tunes of Johnny Lockwood, Norman Yemm and .. clutch your imaginary pearls time again . . ‘The Executives’!!, who, not many people know, originated from Helensburgh (along with in breeding, crimpolene and human waste fondue party’s).

If you look up on your bedroom walls to your ABBA posters, the photo we all have of them in their white suits with embroidered tigers and tin foil behind them, that photo was taken when they performed on Australia’s Bandstand (sickeningly hosted by Daryl Sommers). If you look to the left and right of ABBA, you should be able to see members of ‘The Executives’ who acted as ABBA’s backing band for the show.

ABOVE: ABBA with a glimpse of The Executives bass guitarist.

The venue, the back room at the Imperial hotel, was really comfortable and air conditioned nicely, so those of us wearing natural fibers were kept at a nice idling temperature.

Perhaps the one lament i have of the evening was, we had Norma’s bar, we had Duddles disco, but alas there was no re-creation of Les, Herb and Alf’s male only sauna. I guess space and licencing laws may have made this a prohibitive exercise, but i would like to offer my services for next time, I’ve been known to knock up a sauna with nothing more than four kitchen chairs, a blanket (close weave) and an asthmatic’s ventilator.

The evening started when we stood for the old national anthem and the Queen, which given the location, the irony was not lost on me, where I’ve only ever experienced people kneeling before queens.

The series of shorts preceding the feature had us all in stitches and gales of laughter, we all need reminding every now and then how fantastic commercial jingles were in the 1970’s, “You need uncle Sam, you need uncle Sam, lets get together for the stars and stripes man”. A Young Talent Time featurette was absolute gold, even if it did feature a cameo by Johnny Farnham.

I must make mention, in point of actual fact, that all the while this was going on, scurrying around the tables serving us, and bringing us treats, was none other than Arnold Feather, or, a pretty fantastic representation of Arnold. In my dreams, and heart of hearts, i want to believe it really was Arnold, but i have a feeling it was a ‘Faux Feather’, either way, thank you Arnie for supplying us with complimentary popcorn all night, along with lolly bags, and bests of all, a most welcome choc top ice cream.

I was internally freaking out to have two of the superstars from the movie sitting at the next table, Elisabeth Kirkby and Phillippa Baker, along with writer David Sale.

I hope it was sweat, but i think it was wee running down my leg. To be in the same room as these people, watching them watch themselves on screen was very special indeed.

The movie was every bit the camp classic i know, and remember it to be. I did take a moment to acknowledge some of the very brave (even to this day) social commentary scattered throughout the movie.

I watched the TV series Number 96 pretty much from the very beginning, from when i was about seven years old. It provided a perfect escape for me during a ‘very’ (or as Vera Collins would pronounce it ‘Veh’) difficult childhood. Watching the show as a child, I don’t believe for one second it did me any harm whatsoever, in fact, just the opposite, it gave me a broader view of the world.

Recently my friend Miss Marcia and i were chatting about the show, Marcia, like myself, was allowed to watch it as a child, we pondered what it was about the show that so drew us too it.

First up, i guess the high camp of the show struck a chord somewhere deep inside us, this would one day become a lot clearer and more apparent.

Secondly, and maybe just as important, we acknowledged the slapstick humour that littered most every episode, we realized most of the actors probably had their starts on stage, theater, panto, maybe even the Tivoli.

To kids like us, Les blowing up a sausage machine was every bit as important as seeing a tuft of unmanicured pubic hair, (unless it was Vince Martins . . NUH-thing could be more important than that). I feel that’s why the show, to this day, still holds up and bares repeated viewings, it’s still controversial, it’s still camp, and it’s still funny.

Special mention must go to Nikita Van Der Kamp who paid tribute to Abigail, what a fine homage to a legend. To see ‘Je t’aime’ performed in this way was an honor, and mixing in dialog from the show was sheer genius.

“Yooh, filthy!, dirty!, little! . . Queer-ah!!”

One final, personal little memory. My mum and dad would always go to Corrimal Leagues Club on a Saturday night, usually there would be a ‘club act’ performing, Lucky Grills, Jan Adelle etc.

One night Norman Yemm was there. At the end of the show, as Norman was walking through the crowd, dad reared up in front of him, bellowing ‘What did you do to Vera Collins you BASTARD!!!!!!!’, Norman had found his people, he spent the rest of the night drinking with mum and dad. When i awoke the next morning, dad gifted me with a still damp and stinky cardboard coaster, inscribed ‘To Greg, best wishes Norman Yemm’, what more could a little queen ask for.

A deep gusset straining curtsy of respect and gratitude to Andrew, and everyone who put on this great night, i’m looking forward to many more.

For more information on the Backdoor cinema experience click HERE for the Facebook group.

You can view two short clips below from last night:

Clip 1

Clip 2

I can still feel the brain freeze.

November 4th, 2014

I had a dirty contact lens when I took this, spookily it came out in the print.

November 4th, 2014

“Munted munchies: A stoners cook book”.

November 3rd, 2014

Coming soon to a self publisher/PDF/satin bound hand crafted book seller near you soon, Miss Tammy’s very first book (discounting one or two East German ‘health manuals’ Miss Tammy had a hand in . . well, more like a finger, in the early 1980’s).

“Munted Munchies: a stoners cook book”.

Forty of my favorite munchie sating recipes, thirty five of which feature Cheezels.

Quick and easy is my motto, no one wants to be thinking too hard when one becomes a little ‘Peckish’.

There is even a section on healthy stoning food options (to shut up those dreadful hipster vegan stoners, who’s Ned Kelly beards always end up aflame when trying to ignite the bong, stinking the place out, and fucking up the mood . . but i digress).

Fifty flame retardant pages, all in full colour. Moisten a finger and prepare to turn a page.

Pretty in pink.

October 22nd, 2014

Dali walking ant eaters.

October 22nd, 2014

Stoner food cook book trials.

October 22nd, 2014

Fender bender.

October 22nd, 2014

Red.

October 22nd, 2014

Newtown icon.

October 22nd, 2014

Most evenings on King St Newtown, this guy can be found riding his mobility scooter up and down the footpath. What gives him the edge is his scooter is pimped with an Elvis statue, and a pretty fierce sound system. I have to say, his playlist never fails to impress me, from Johnny Cash, all the way through to Rockin’ Robin.

Long may he scoot.

Footage can be viewed HERE

Mmmm, wooden dash.

October 22nd, 2014

Best foot forward.

October 22nd, 2014

Nesting.

October 22nd, 2014

Something spooky is going on, I’m nesting!. I’ve cleaned and sorted my office, I assembled a glass cabinet, I just framed my own painting, the house has been cleaned and bleached within an inch of it’s life, i’ve rearranged the pot plants . . I wonder what it all means??, I’m terrified I might be turning strait*!!??

* Of course not that there is anything wrong with that.

Dragstones.

October 22nd, 2014

Koo Koo.

October 22nd, 2014

A gift, i’ve always encouraged skills in crafts with those around me.

October 22nd, 2014

Who knew.

October 22nd, 2014

Dance puppy, dance!.

October 22nd, 2014

Let’s go back to my room.

October 22nd, 2014