CHARO:

Nothing much to be said dahlinks.

DRAGSTER:

THE SLAYNEL:

Ahhhh, my old car before Christine, the ‘Slaynel’, i’m posting this pic as for years i was always picked on for driving too slow, but here is proof positive that i have been naughty in my time, i was so excited when i found out you could buy photo’s from the speed camera that captured your moment of public nuisance.

COLGATE SMILE:


Continuing my magazine trawl i found this old ad for railways of Australia, i thought the ad was camp and retro enough, but when i squinted closer and zoomed in on the waiters teeth i gasped in horror as i caught a glimpse of his mangled and rotting fangs, who can spell the word ‘Caps’.

THE OTHER BERYL:

Dear me, this goes a way back .. i think this must have been one of Bangin’s birthdays in Erskinville, i think the last time i bleached my hair was ten years ago, i see Beryl is manhandling one of her ‘Jaxie Sticks’, i’m loving this dig through my piles of old pics and clippings.

BERYL:

ABOVE PHOTO:
A perfect example of Beryl’s home sewn creations, this has it all, layers and Beryl’s patented bat wings.

Here we see the welcome return of Mrs Beryl Palmer from ‘Sons and daughters’ perhaps this should have been filed under the ‘I should have known i was gay when .. ‘ heading, but Beryl deserves her own space. I was fascinated by the constant stream of fashion tragedy’s Beryl foisted upon us on this show, I’d like to think Beryl who was always sewing her own outfits on the show was a fashion terrorist and knew the depths of her depraved subversiveness as she whipped up outfit after outfit on her Phaff, it was a constant parade of bat wing halterneck tops and scalloped collars for as far as the eye could see. No one else but Beryl could pull off white stockings with open toe ‘Mrs Emery’ Homey peds.

WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE:

CHECK:

EASY RIDER ROSE:

PETE:

A stunning photo of Pete Burns looking the picture of health.

NEW HERO MRS EMERY:










ABOVE PIC: Possibley my greatest screen capture ever.

MR TIM:

I’m so disappointed that i never got to see Tiny Tim live during his many visits to Aussie, it’s only now that i recognise the true genius of the man, it was Mr Tim who introduced me to the complete lyrics of my favorite song ‘As time goes by’ most people dont know there was a rarely used first verse, it was considered too ‘out there’ but you can hear it on the version sung by Rudee Valee, i think this first verse is amazing and totally stands up today and has never been more relevant ..

This day and age we’re living in
Gives cause for apprehension
With speed and new invention
And things like fourth dimension.
Yet we get a trifle weary
With Mr. Einstein’s theory.
So we must get down to earth at times
Relax relieve the tension

And no matter what the progress
Or what may yet be proved
The simple facts of life are such
They cannot be removed.

You must remember this,
A kiss is just a kiss ..

I’M FREE!!:

The ad’s you find in old issues of New Idea.

TRAWL:

Continuing my trawl through my ever bulging photo archives i’m finding all sorts of stuff, the camp value of this photo is off the scale, and there is a word i’ll be trying my hardest to bring back into fashion, ‘Camp’ .. also another word i want to re-embrace is ‘Sissy’ isnt that a great word?.

ARNOLD FEATHER:

Arnold Feather’s Tv wedding warrented a ‘Super color special’ edition of Tv Week?, i know it was only last week i threw out all my old Tv Week magazines but this ebay find is begging me to make a bid, just imagine the photo’s inside!.

OUT WITH THE OLD:


So lately I’ve been like ‘You know what? i don’t need all this shit around me, the cream of the shit yes (and at this moment i’d like to take the chance to say hi to all my friends at Coogee bay hotel) but a lot of the other stuff no, so where as before i would keep whole magazines now I’m just tearing out the photo or the page i want, sorry Kylie all those Tv Weeks? cast to the winds, old music magazines? now being recycled into shit paper, i just don’t need all these encumberments, but the fun part and the best it is i have found all these articles i have been saving, so be prepared to be bombarded with crap like the photo’s above, i have a real thing for wonky celebrities, i don’t mean try hard wonky like Paris Hilton, the only think wonky about her is her right eye, but true wonk like the photo above of Kathleen Turners feet, i mean I’ve heard of gnarled .. but these are just off the scale, what do you think Beryl? could this foot shot ever be topped?

SLEAZE 2008:



These are the photo’s i can show, i’ve now learnt that sometimes it’s not so good to have camera’s readily accesible on your mobile.

Thanks to Kev for the photo of us above, i could never look so good in blue eye shadow.

GAYEST HOUSE EVER:


Recently while driving near Enmore i caught a glimpse of this house out of the corner of my eye, i was drawn to it like a bee to a honey pot, i slammed Christine into a full handbrake stop, spinning her on only her back tyres and sliding her into a tight parking space, we jumped out and held an impromptu photo session out the front of this most wondrous pink palace, i sure hope no one strait lives in this place, because if they do they need urgent psychological attention.

PHONE ART:

KRANSKY:


Recently my school friend Vin (Viv) and i went to see the Kransky sister’s at the Opera house, it was a fantastic night and for me was topped off by running into and getting to speak with Liz Kirby (Lucy Sutcliff in Number 96) in the foyer after the show, i had to work on the photo of Viv and i as the lady who took the pic was off her nut on cheap wine and almost took the photo sideways.

RANCHO MOTION:

Beryl recently had her house warming party, the poor harlot thought we were all there because we love her, when in reality we were there for the free food and to steal things from her house .. i walked out with what i assumed was a perforated water bed bladder from Beryl’s bedroom, it’s either that or it’s a gravity fed enema. Irony has a new definition, Beryl’s new house is right next door to the federal police headquarters!.

POLLY’S:

Beryl, Barb’s, Lynne and myself at Pollys in August, i just love going to the Polly’s dances in Sydney, they are beyond fun and daggy, usually a posse of us make our way there and i think this night was the first time Barb’s had ever been to a Polly’s. It’s the sort of place that if the crowd seems to like a song, like Dianna Ross’s ‘Chain reaction’ for example, the DJ will just play the song again!, also the drag shows are on the Dapto side of feral, where else can you see morbidly obese drag queens do a show to ‘Dancing queen’ under the banner of ‘FLABBA’.

SOMEONES KNOCKING AT MY DOOR:

One of my mates at work recently made me this really cool sign for my unit’s front door, it makes it so much easier to give the pizza guy directions now.

THEY SAY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY:


My nephew Michael recently turned 30th, besides having a great party where he had a slurpee machine rigged with alcoholic knee bending squishee’s he had the most amazing birthday cake i have EVER seen, it was totally outrageous and my teeth are aching just thinking about it, it was a chocolate and icing reproduction of a block of Cadbury’s dairy milk chocolate .. pure tooth numbing indulgence.

MAN ABOUT TOWN:




Over the past few months Phillip has been spending a bit of time in Sydney for work, it’s always great to catch up, and it’s even better to check out all the funky and posh hotels he gets to stay in, i always like to pretend i’m staying at the place when i visit, and while taking the lift up to his room i always manage a dismissive sniff at the other guests who get off at lower floors to the one i’m going to, i’ve never professed to be anything less than a sad, pathetic and desperate wannabe.

ABOOT TIME:


ABOVE PIC: The photo above proves that (gulp) i am human, for the first time in living memory i have graced a photo with my shadow!, i cant believe that i done something so ‘human’ i’ve always prided myself on my photo’s and lack of severed heads, shadows etc but there you go, a rare moment of humanness from Tammy Tingles.

My friends and i have been spoilt this year to get two visits from our friend Marc who now lives in Canada, Marc has this fantastic way of talking to you and things fall into perspective, he is also a much needed ‘Miss Fashion’ for me, sort of like my own personal Carson Kressley (without the botox .. i think, and ET belly, and insatiable desire to slap) one sideways glance from him will have you scampering back to your wardrobe vowing and promising to burn every pair of denim 3/4 pants you own, i wept tears of joy a couple of weeks ago when Marc saw my self stylised and personalised white Chuck Taylors with red tartan laces and said ‘They’re hot Greg’, it’s the small things really.

HIGH PRICE:

I saw this faux Sponge Bob in Newtown a couple of weeks ago, i could’nt help but stare and think ‘Sometimes i’m sure the dole or Macca’s is preferable to subjecting yourself to front line puppet point of purchasing ‘

WONT SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!??:


ABOVE PIC: These photo’s were taken the day before my niece and her partner Emily had there first baby Kylan, this year has just been baby city down here with my nieces and nephews and cousins firing babies out left right and centre, i seem to have the uncle thing down pat and without exception i AM the favorite uncle of every single one of my nieces and nephews .. isnt that right children?

ABOVE PIC: This is my Nephew Kylan who just became the first baby in Australia to be issued with a same sex parents birth certificate, at last i feel the world is inching forward. *NB Michael and Jo and the little stinky bums, i would splash you guys all over my blog, but i dont know how you feel about being posted on the net, see how responsible and caring i am.

WINTER WONDERLAND:




Never before have the words ‘Little darlin’, it’s been a long, cold, lonely winter’ from the Beatles ‘Here comes the sun’ rung more true than this year, it was a long hard slog of a winter that saw me investing big dollars in lots of scarves, it seemed to last forever, for the first time i saw snow where i live, okay .. a cross between soft and small hail and snow, but it stayed frozen on the ground all day and night and thats close enough for me, it also stayed frozen on my car windows as i drove home, i got lots of appreciative honks at my vulgar window ice etchings.

MELBOURNE JULY 08:
I love my winter visits to Melbourne, it’s almost like visiting another country, i always manage to pack so much in and i never have enough time to see everyone and everything i want to.


ABOVE PIC: Finally i get to wear a Doctors outfit, all i need now is the script pad and i’m set.

ABOVE PIC: Dax and i pay hommage at the Ackland St cake shop, worth the trip to Melbourne alone.

ABOVE PIC: After years of visiting Melbourne and staying at Melbourne Loft i walked past a burger and chip shop just over the road and on the corner, my nostrils were flaring like a gay boys cod piece at Mardi Gras .. ahhhh, the sweet aroma of chips with gravy, i lamented to Phillip that since being vege i havent been able to eat chips and gravy but i saw they sold vege burgers, so as the girl was serving me i looked up and saw the sign ‘Everything in this store vegatarian’ WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?? i walked past this place for years and never knew, it was a vege fast food place, before you know it i had ordered one of everything .. and TWO of the chips with gooey gravy, Phillip explained to me that this was a special dish from Canada called ‘Poutine’ and along with the hot chips, the steaming gravy .. they were covered in melting cheese! be still my beating heart.

ABOVE PIC: Hey, who would’nt be attracted to a dog with leg warmers?

ABOVE PIC: Upon arrival at Phillip’s i was greeted with a welcome pack for my stay, which included a much needed hot water bottle, a bag of my favorite lollies from the shi shi David Jones food court, my favorite lemon grass tea and a brand spanking new pair of Peter Alexander pjyamas .. the standard has been set Phillip, start shopping for the January visit,

ABOVE PIC: Whats a visit to Melbourne without lunch at the ‘Charles Dickens Ratkellar’ if you look closely at our eyes you can see we’ve all visited the bathroom to visit Bettina to score our Prelly’s to top up our lunch of beer and nacho’s.

NEW MOBILE:

I recently got a new mobile, nothing too fancy, but it has a camera which enables me to pretty much document every useless thing i come across, take for instance my computer monitor at work as seen above .. even more amazing, i know how to use every single feature on this mobile and no one had to show me.

POLAROID:

THE BLACK BALLOON:

Bit of a funny old weekend, it was the ANZAC long weekend and i didnt have anywhere to really go away but still managed to fit a bit in, Saturday i got to visit Matt and Robyn and see their new bub Lily then raced across the the city to catch up with Barb’s and go out for dinner at Govinda’s in Darlinghurst, the cool thing about this place is after dinner you can pay a few bucks extra and stay around and watch a movie which we did, ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ was pretty good, sort of makes me wish the the royals were run like that today, you watch the movies while lazing around on what i can only describe as glam bean bags, it was small and intimate and this was no more apparent than when someone started farting, inevitable really considering the food was all vege and the starter was a bean soup.

Finished off Saturday night with a hot chocolate on Oxford st, scary, scary place that on a Saturday night, it was crawling with cops and they seemed to have their work cut out for them, i dunno to me it seems like the fun has gone out of that place, well the street at least.

Above pic: The good and bad of rain, miserable weather made to look amazing .. i took this from my kitchen window just before heading over to Tyson’s new pad.

Above pic: This weekend Tyson moved into his first ever flat, it’s such a funky little place and i have total door envy, not only is every internal door at Tyson’s padded with foamy plastic but EVEN the front door has the padding, this is a total tribute to Elvis i’m sure who’s doors at Graceland’s were padded as well.

Above pic: I’ve had my digital camera now for a few months now but i’m yet to get around to buying a bag for it, so far i’ve been using the furry pouch it came in, i’ve sort of become a bit attached to my dag covered bag.

Above pic: Went to see this movie last night, i was really moved by it and i thought it was amazing that it came from a first time director, i love a movie that has a real Aussie flavour .. i dont mean an in your face pastiche but those movies that have a real Aussie flavour and a feel that only people from here would get, things like unique set decorations and costumes that are so Australian and bring back a flood of memories, the school uniforms in this movie are pretty close to what we did have to wear here (well at least at my school)

BRIAN WILSON SYDNEY JANUARY 2008:

As long promised here are the photo’s from Brian Wilson’s Sydney concert’s this past January, Thanks to Dave Farras for letting me post the first lot of photo’s which he took. I wont rehash all the stories and adventures but a couple of things come to mind, as with every Brian tour i have been around once again this one was surrounded by joy and friendship and amazingly good times, whenever you are around a Brian event it seems any troubles and woes you may have fall away for the duration. As you can see by the photo’s most of us got to meet Brian and most of the band and i would like at this point to thank Tony and Robyne for pulling together the Orient hotel get together and especially Jeff Fosket who came along and just happened to bring his mate Brian along. I’ve now had the chance to meet two three of the inspirations of my life, Paul McCartney, Linda McCartney and Brian and through this meeting with Brian i was able to simply thank him as i did Paul and Linda for the absolute joy and happiness they have brought into my life.

The Orient hotel get together really felt like, and looking at the pic’s really was a gathering of family.

One final thing, i wish everyone could have been there with us when we got to meet Brian, the sense of love and care for Brian in that room was tangible, you could feel it moving around you like a warm breeze, when it was my turn to have a sit and a chat with Brian he held my hand and said ‘You’re cold!!’ i responded that i was nervous and jokingly started to rub my hand on my bum to warm it up, Brian looked at me and said ‘Hmmm maybe you should go to the bathroom and put it under one of those hand dryer’s to warm it up’. Later as Brian was leaving he passed me and grabbed my hand and said ‘That’s better, it’s warm now’, it must have been the warm breeze of love in the room that done it.

All photo’s below were taken by and are copyright David Farras








Above pic: Ah yes, the giant inflatable Beach Boys goiter, it hovered over us like a giant undecended teste just waiting to whack us on the head.

All photo’s below were taken by and are copyright Greg Swan.




















Above pic: I took this photo of Nelson at Hotel during lunch, i had it blown up and i presented it to Nelson the next evening, he loved the photo and hugged me in thanks, just before the band flew out i got to chat to Nelson one last time and just as i was leaving he thanked me again for the photo.

Above pic: Nelson’s scraps.

Above pic: The infamous Brian DNA cake, when Brian cut the cake it started slip and Brian grabbed it with his hand, later some fans were to find Brian’s finger print embedded in the icing, i guess it was our version of the hand print’s outside the Chinese theatre in Hollywood, except these finger print’s were a lot more valuable and definately and lot more tasty.

Above pic: I took this photo of Brian in Newcastle in 2004 during the SMiLE tour, this is what i got Brian to sign for me at the Orient hotel.

THAT WAS THE WEEKEND THAT WAS:



Spent the weekend away in Sydney, met up with Steve at Broadway .. oh man, i’ll never complain about parking down here at home again! i was stuck in a parking lot gridlock for the longest time, made our way to the fab Glebe record fair, i mentioned and noted to Steve that this funky inner West location has a vastly different clientel to the West West Parramatta record fair, at Glebe it’s chock full of hot indie boys looking to score vinyl to mix up, the Parra fair is usually chock full of 40 year old male postal workers who still live at home with mum, nothing wrong with that but ummmmmmm there IS something to be said for the inner West vinyl seeker, and speaking of i almost had a wettie as i was scanning the stalls and found a girl with a K-tel record selector still in it’s box for sale!, years ago i gave one of these to Phillip as a gift and it was one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do, handing that over to Phillip when i secretly desired to keep it, so i was stoked when i found this one for me and not only that the girl had marked down everything half price so i ‘only’ paid five dollars for!, i love how on the box it states ‘Works just like a computer’ COOL!!, so it download’s porn and virus’s?.


On Saturday night we headed off to Polly’s dance at Marrickville town hall, i havent been to a Polly’s dance in about ten years and i forgot how much fun they are, the drag show’s go on for almost fifty minutes!! Beryl graced us with her presence later in the evening and a great time was had by all, we became a bit obsessed with one of the drag queens, she totally looked like the spawn of Beryl Motion, you can see her in one of the above pics, she’s standing on the left of the photo with another drag on the steps of the town hall, i so have to go to the next dance, i even managed to run into a couple of old friends, too many couples there tho, hey .. so i’m bitter



Sunday a favorite way to spend a day, late breakfast in a cafe then aimlessly walking around the shops in Newtown, where else could you find a rubber toy of an obese Ronald McDonald?.

FAIRDAY 08:




Better late than never, Mardi Gras Fairday this year was just about perfect, not too hot and not too cold AND the rain stayed away, it was cool this year as my neice and her fiance Emily came along and it was cool as an uncle to see this. If you look at the third photo you can see Beryl having a little chuckle to herself .. of course surrounded by cups of beer, by the time we got to the restaraunt Beryl had gulped, sculled and licked up twelve beers by that time, tho the trooper she is she managed to hold down the gut full of Thai food she gobbled up, a true legend.

OP SHOP 08:

Above pic: it seems it doesnt take much to get Tyson to simulate defacation, i was amazed on our recent ‘Op shop au go go’ to find this old wooded thunder box, but what both scares and facinates me is that the pan on this blurter actually looks like a Hotel room service tray.

Above pic: it seems everything has a price except for this stunning wig.