HAVING MY CAKE AND EATING IT TOO:

MORE SNUFF PUPPETS:

ALF, Whizzer Deever, Raquel Ochmoneck and Willie:

Found this pic on line when Tyson and i were work shopping fancy dress idea’s for Adam’s birthday, once i saw this pic of the ALF head i was on a mission, where could i find a head like that with the tumorous swollen goiter neck? .. alas Wollongong was fresh out so desperate times called for desperate measures so i went to Spotlight and asked the lady to show me a roll of her finest fur, when i saw how much they were charging for a metre of faux pheline i knew i had to downsize my plans, so i asked for 10cm of the cheapest skanky matted nylon fur and went home and cut it into tufts that i stuck to myself in random places, i arrived and announced i was ALF with ‘alopecia’, i think i got away with it.

RANDOM MOBILE PICS EARLY 2009:
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1) Hmmmmm, someone else is making Tammy pills.

2) Mardi Gras 2009.

3) Miss Beryl eating a faux chicken leg, i have a thousand lines and i’m not going to utter one of them.

4) Think about this for a sec .. Kahmal has a three disc cd set, featuring the Elephant song, the world truely is a strange place.

5) Miss Tyson has kindly loaned me his piano, so now i can practice at top volume my favorite Yoko Ono avante guarde works as well as perfecting my Jerry Lee Lewis foot playing the piano moves, trust me Tyson the piano is in good and safe hands.

6) The HOT boy in my unit block (he who mysteriously always leaves his front door ajar) has fashioned this stunning wire coat hanger car arial penis on his car, and who say’s strait boys have no taste.

7) Piss weak foam ice cream demo’s from Berry, i ordered Pugsly the punk and it came out looking like a rat with a hair lip that had been shot in the face with 12 guage shotgun, it was yummy tho.

8) Hmmm, this jogs a memory, when i was in high school i actually wrote and illastrated a ‘Reality Mr Men’ book, i still have and i should dig it out and scan a few of the drawings .. those that i can without having Blogger remove my blog.

9) Saw this parked near mum’s, i’m loving sick the shag pile carpet on the tread board, also the utter defiance of parking in a ‘No Parking’ zone is totally hot.

10) What isnt to love about Op Shops, a bin of crutches, most with a disturbing discolourisation of the underarm padded support, i love these almost as much as the foot spa’s you get at op shops that have a tell tale tide mark crust of corn, exema and bunion.

11) A real live packet of Persil i saw in a shop front in Newtown .. please, let fate decree that one day before i die i will get to live there or at least close by, i’m not asking for the moon, just a place where i can walk and find Persil and Rinso sitting in a shop front window.

12) A gaggle of crocheted poodles, where else but Newtown.

BEATLE BOYS AT BEATLE LUNCH:

WHAT SHITS ME:

You know what shits me off? everything is getting smaller! just the other day i got a spinach and cheese roll and sauce, and when i went to blurt the sauce out i looked at how little the saches hold now, i like my ipods getting smaller, i DONT like my condiments shrinking, you want proof? just go to Wendy’s and see what size the milkshakes are there now Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

GREG’S DOO DOO:

How cool is this, for my birthday my neices partner Emily, my sister and my neice Lis made me this awesome comfort rug, or my ‘Doo Doo’ as i have always called them, the really cool thing about it is it’s in my favorite black and it has been patched with Ben Sherman Beatle print material, if you look closely at the photo you can see the Fabs faces in the patches, this is one of the best presents i’ve ever recieved.

SUPERMAN:

I was going to make you guess what it is i’m holding in this photo, but i know the crass nature of my readership which is only tempered by the extreme delicate nature of a few people who look on here ..

What i have in my hand is an actual prop crystal from the original Superman movie, my old buddy Matt is a bigger movie fanatic than even i am, i mean who else do you know that owns Matt Dillon and Ben Afflecks soiled clothing? (Matt drove a hard bargain but for twenty bucks he let me sniff the armpit of Matt Dillons shirt .. ahhhh, sweet filth)

JUDITH LUCY:




For my birthday this year i went with Beryl and a group of friends to the Opera House to see Judith Lucy’s latest show, it was an absolute hoot and i’ve long said if i had to turn strait for a night it would probably be with Judith, not sure what that says about me .. or her really, anyway it was a beautiful warm night around the harbour and we took the chance to grab a photo as the setting sun turned the harbour gold.

Just in case you’re wondering, yes that is a full underarm bush in the last photo of Judith, what can i say .. she’s an earthy girl.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN:

I love this old photo of me i found, it says so much. You can see me in our backyard where i have been placed before a soccer ball, wearing my brothers soccer boots standing on what was used as a cricket pitch in our backyard, if you look up the top you can even see where the lawn is worn from the batting, my dad is standing in the right of the photo willing me on to do something, anything all the while i’m standing there with my little hands demurely clasped together probably thinking ‘I dont think so honey!!’. This strip of lawn was later the site of endless hours of torture to me when my brother would make me stand there and bowl over and over to him as he practiced batting, even to this day whenever i have to throw a ball i dry retch, the sporting gene very obviously past me by and flew right over my head.

SKID MARKS:



Got to spend some quality time with Matt while in Melbourne, on this day Matt took me to the Melbourne eye or whatever it’s called, it’s a huge 35 story ferris wheel and the day we went was the first 43 degree day of what was to become Melbourne’s heatwave, everyone else was excited about looking out over the city, but i only had eyes for the out of control skid marks on the top level of the parking station, Matt delighted in calling me later to tell me that due to the extreme head the wheel had began to buckle and had closed down.

SNAP:

BOARDING PASS:

How prophetic those words on the sign were to turn out, this is just before Tyson and i were due to fly out at 3.00pm for Melbourne, we didnt take to the skies till 8.00pm, plenty of time for me to scam an arm full of Virgin Blue meal vouchers, i found the trick was to go up and ask for them just after an agro customer had exploded and ripped a new one to the poor staff behind the counter, they were so flustered they didnt know what they were handing out and even forgot to stamp them .. which proved handy for my meals on the return trip.

TRIPLE TREAT:

Weird tripple exposure of me and my mum and brother.

HEY CHARGER! :

Coolest car ever, saw this on where else but Greville St in Melbourne, i was in awe.

RETRO RED TRACKY:


I used to live in this red tracksuit when i was a kid, tho hip enough to break it up so it was a mix and match, in the bottom photo you can see Michelle, myself, Dani and Kylie on uncle Harry’s farm, great memories from here and it was at this farm i learnt to ride an adult motorbike, i was too small to put my feet down when i wanted to stop so i would ride around for ages and ages and then call out to my brother John when i wanted to stop and he would have to run along side the bike and catch me.

For dedicated Tammy fashion followers please note in the bottom photo the first appearance of my signature Converse Chuck Taylors, really i should have a sponsorship deal with them.

NEWTOWN LIGHT:

FANCY DRESS:

Each year over summer we would go to a big fancy dress party, i used to always clean up with first prize, this was another winning year for me where i went dressed as a pirate ‘Lookout in the crows nest’ my dad had actually made a birds nest to go around my waist and even put eggs in it, my poor niece Kylie didnt fare so well that year, she’s the one on the left of the photo with a bit of orange cardboard and some haphazard tin foil wrapped around her head as she tried to pass as a bottle of rum .. Kylie likes to remind people that she’s the middle child.

DAX DOWN SOUTH:


Made sure to catch up with my nephew Dax while in Melbourne, i was most proud to introduce him to Chad, Dax became a little too enarmoured with Chad and i shot him a sideways glance when he said ‘Lets hold his little paws up so they wiggle’.

MARCIA’S BIRTHDAY IN NEWTOWN:

Cant remember the name of the place we ate, but it had the yummiest, most fattening gobblesome vegetarian food i’ve eaten in ages, luckily i remember how to get back there.

HARMONIUM:

Photoshop gone made here, in the original photo i’m holding a hanky in my right hand, but it just looked way to gay and delicate, so i photoshopped it out and in the process made it look as if i have a manky pinky on my right hand, that will teach me to try and toughen myself up and redress sexuality by the power of photoshop (i can recommend the ‘Heal tool’ for getting rid of those pesky crows feet however.)

PHILLIPS 40TH:

ALL FOOD GROUPS COVERED:

Only in Qld would you find a store front advertising Knobs AND Freddo Frogs.

MEDICAL SUITE:


While in Melbourne, on a dare Tyson actually spend 15 hours in the Emergency Dept of the Princess Stephanie hospital pretending to be a doctor, talk about laugh! (Tyson, do you know if wooden speculums are tax deductable?)

SKANK FOOT:

BREE AND AMY:

My two little nieces who blew me out when i was visiting Qld by pulling out violins and cello’s and playing them with such talent and feeling, obviously my AMAZING musical genes ran strait to their pool.

PINK FLAMINGO:

Marcia and i out and about in Newtown.

SWINGER:

See!, i was born blonde!.

COOL DRIVE IN SLIDE:

PARIS IS BURNING:

VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR:


Over summer i once again got to channel John Laws, Allan Jones and Kyle Sandilands when i appeared on the ‘Let it be .. Beatles’ radio show, it’s always such a tread when the boys let me on, i close my eyes and for just the shortest second i can imagine i’m ‘Murray the K’ .. We’re what’s happnin’ babe!

FROM THE CRADLE:


How weird, when i scanned these photo’s and saw the embroidery on my baby pillow it was instantly familiar, i wonder if it’s possible to actually remember something, or respond to something from when you were that young?.

POSTER FROM MY KITCHEN:

FESTIVE ROAST:






The festive season brought along with it some of my favorite things, ie family, food and presents but not always in that order. One of the photo’s above is of a vegetarian festive roast which bless her little brynylon sox my sister went totally emo on and diced and sliced up just like your normal basted roast.

Present of the day for me was ‘Delores the rampantly gay cat’ which was flown back to me all the way from a Las Vegas souvineer shop, the last photo is of the delicate detail you can see in it’s plastic contours.

MY FIRST CHRISTINE:

SOCK IT TOO ME:

Yes it’s true, i actually have a ‘thing’ for sock puppets, dont ask me why i could’nt explain.

THERE’S GOT TO BE A MORNING AFTER:












Thanks to the kindness of my sister in filth and depravity Miss Beryl i was lucky enough to land an invite to the Sydney Lord Mayors New Years eve party, to describe this as over the top glam and excess would be a gross understatement, never before have i seen so much free alcohol flowing, it was truely eye boggling, line after line of champagne and wine was lined up along the many bars. I texted a friend later in the night ‘Money and status does not bring class’, it was a sobering and valuable lesson to see so many pillars of society drunk and tripping over, exiting the toilets with their skirts tucked into their panties, slurring and being vulgar and racist .. i commented to a Govt minister friend who was also there ‘I may be a shit kicker from Wollongong, but at least i know how to carry myself’, it was a fantastic night tho, i’m certain there was no better place on the planet to spend New Years Eve, a perfect warm summer evening on the forecourt of the Opera house.

RANDOM MOBILE PICS:

ROUGH NUT:

More pics from the old photo album, i look like such a little rough nut in this photo, i’m sure my inner queen was weeping at being forced to wear a flanno, nice reminder tho at how stuck together like glue Michelle and i were (still are, tho from a distance now alas)